“just in case, i should not do that”
I thought so. i hadn’t done it for 60 days till yesterday, but i fapped twice yesterday.
there was not so strong desire yesterday, but why did i do that? maybe i just wanted to release my stress or something. but actually i started to watch porn, huge excitement waved me in.
Me, Shinji, is 38 years old nerd, btw im not a “38 years old virgin”. im married even though i myself admit im nerdy. when i was a teenager, i was thinking being a nerd was a big problem for making gf or marriage, but as many grown people know, being nerd is not a big problem for them. As many know, nerd guys sometimes earn lots of money and successful. After getting out teen, appearance and those nerdy matter wont be a big issue for relationship.
Anyway, I am not a no-Fapper for marriage since I am already married. Then, again, why have I been avoiding fapping? I guess I am expecting through no fapping, my life might be more fruitful, but I dont deny “the fuits” might include some love related things.
Well, going back to the begging, maybe I thought “I should not do that” because a new female employee is coming to our section next week, and I as a HR guy, should greet her on her very first day and the very first moment in this government office.
Moreover, as a HR guy, I have seen her picture beforehand, and I know she might be beautiful.